b1ackskies

well I feel like garbage (sick) what else is new though.. I have pretty constant nausea/stomach pain/vomiting/heart racing. I'm off work for another week then I go back to torturing myself, puking 1-2 times on the job, just so i can keep my fucking health insurance and save money for baby stuff.. Since you know I have no one in my life to help me out with that, hell I'm grateful just to not be sleeping on the street. anxiety is keeping me awake lately. my stomach hurts right now. i wonder if i have pancreatitis again. I'm probably going to get diabetes from it eventually, that or pancreatic cancer. I feel disconnected from it, but I suppose

Lol needed to update this journal. I ended up back in the hospital for 4 days for pancreatitis. Still having pain from it. :/ just got out last Monday but I'm still not better, wake up in pain everday, no energy to cook or clean or even go to work. It sucks. My boyfriend stayed there though whooooole time I was hospitalized for me. He slept in some uncomfortable chair every night. I might not have any family who gives a shit about me but at least I have him. He's the best. :) I started drawin again though been touching up some old black and white drawings with color. For awhile I've been torn if I want to go into tattooing but I decided a

Sorry I haven't been around guys, a lot happened in my personal life. I got a new boyfriend. Well he's not exactly new but. He is amazing to me. Makes me feel like a naive love strict teenager. I think I found the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, and he says he feels that way. So I hope this works out because it'll hurt so much if it doesn't. I can't be alone anymore. As far as art goes I've been drawing on and off but I took up the violin. I'm very much an amateur but I'm learning fast and enjoying it immensely. I got pregnant (was trying to) but had a miscarriage. They're very very painful and depressing. I was fucked up